The Dick and Jane Hamlet

The Dick and Jane Hamlet is pretty cute, and worth a link. I’d never seen it before.

“See the man. What a funny man. His name is Hamlet. He is a prince.

He is sad. Why are you sad, Hamlet?”

On the way he passes a brook. In the brook he sees Ophelia. Ophelia is drowning.

“Where are you going?” asks Ophelia.

“I am going to find Uncle Claudius.”

“Glub, glub,” says Ophelia.

Joey Shakespeare

Watching Joey on NBC tonight and John Larroquette is doing some stunt casting.

Joey: I saw you do Shakespeare on Broadway!

Larroquette: Twelth Night?

Joey: I don’t remember the date, no.

…Later…

Larroquette: Listen! You’re in way over your head, buddy!

Joey: Don’t quote Shakespeare at me!

Time Line of Banned Books in the United States

Time Line of Banned Books in the United States

Interesting because Merchant of Venice is on the list. Doubly so because it was banned in 1980! Book banners choose funny battles to fight. If they knew half the filth that Will was writing in some of his “comedies” they’d all keel over.

The only thing I think is sillier on the list is the banning of Little Red Riding Hood because it depicts the title character bringing wine to the grandmother and some school system didn’t want to encourage underage drinking. Eh?

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Watch out, Richard III!

Watching “RadioActive Man” episode of the Simpsons tonight, where the movie of the comic of the same name comes to town and all the kids flock to play sidekick Fallout Boy. Bart is just so good that when he leaps on scene in front of all the other kids who are trying out and says the catch phrase, “Watch out, Radioactive man!” they all applaud his brilliance.

“Thank you, thank you,” he says, taking a bow. “It’s all in the delivery.” Adjusting his tone and wrapping his cape around his shoulders he continues, “Now is the winter of our discontent…”

“Oh no! Run!” screams Ralphie, and runs away.

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When you see this, quote some Shakespeare

Hooray for whoever thought to do a Shakespeare meme!

If you’re seeing this, and you’ve got a blog, it’s your turn to quote some Shakespeare and pass it along.

I will not yield,
To kiss the ground before young Malcolm’s feet,
And to be baited with the rabble’s curse.
Though Birnam wood be come to Dunsinane,
And thou opposed, being of no woman born,
Yet I will try the last. Before my body
I throw my warlike shield. Lay on, Macduff,
And damn’d be him that first cris, ‘Hold, enough!’

Macbeth V.8

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Almost Before We Spoke, We Swore

The New York Times brings us this fun article on the history of swearing. Yes, of course Shakespeare is in it. And not just for the occasional “Zounds!” I never knew that Much Ado About Nothing is a dirty joke.

I remember reading Taming of a Shrew in 9th grade high school. There’s a line between Petruchio and Kate, near the beginning, where they are bantering back and forth. At one point she calls him a 3-legged stool and he says “Thou hast hit on it, come sit on me” or something like that. I always figured that was about as filthy as I thought it was. Later in that same conversation when they’re doing some punning on wasps and stings, Petruchio gets a chance to say (on the subject of leaving) “What, with my tongue in your tail?” I mean, good lord. I’d hate to be the English teacher trying to explain why that scene is funnier that the students think it is.

And let’s not even get started on the Nurse from Romeo and Juliet. She talks like a trucker. Does thou fall upon thy face? Thou wilt fall backward when thou hast more wit!

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Batman Shakespeare Bust

I wonder if Kerry will let me have this. Remember the original Batman series, with Adam West, where they would open the door to the batcave by flipping back the head of Shakespeare’s bust and throwing the switch? Well, now,

you too can have that bust! Neat. They say that it really works. I’d love to connect it up to like the garage door or something.

Not for $300, though. $50, maybe.