Ernie and Bert Are Dead

Oh my god how is this dated 2005 and I’ve not seen it? Rosencrantz and Guildenstern Are Dead, done with Sesame Street characters. Tis just a textual piece – a script – not a video. But, still!

Curtain opens to show OSCAR standing on a balcony, staring glumly at a HAWK and a HANDSAW. A brass weathervane on the balcony is spinning; it stops at north-north-west for a moment, but ends up pointing southeast. ERNIE and BERT join OSCAR on the balcony.

BERT: Are you Prince Hamlet?

OSCAR: No, I’m a merchant from Venice.

ERNIE: Where’s Venice?

The weathervane spins back to north-north-west.

OSCAR: Of course I’m Prince Hamlet.

BERT: Prince Hamlet, we have a question for you.

ERNIE: We hear you’re having a bad month. We were wondering why that is.

OSCAR: Why am I having a bad month? You. have to ask why I’m having a bad month? Count von Claudius took away my trash. All of my lovely stinking trash. My whole foul and pestilent congregation of vapours.

Love it.