Friday nights on ABC (here in the US, sorry international audience!) I watch one of my favorite shows, Shark Tank. Very much like “Dragon’s Den” (and some of the investors are the same), entrepreneurs pitch their ideas to venture capitals and try to leave with investment money. All of the “sharks” are on Twitter, which encouraged me to do some live tweeting of my own. At some point I was challenged to do a Shakespeare / Shark Tank mashup.
You Are Now Entering …. The Shake Tank.
“Good evening, sharks. My name is Antonio, and I am seeking an investment in my shipping business of 3000 ducats in exchange for one pound of my flesh.”
“So, Friar Laurence, help us to understand. You’ve invented a potion that makes the consumer *appear* dead, and they’re supposed to use this to escape uncomfortable situations. You’ve got exactly one sale, and we know what happened there. The liability on something like this is astronomical. I’m out.”
“You come in here and you try to pull a fast one on me, Mr. Wonderful? I had a bowl of muses of fire for breakfast this morning. You think yours is the only invention that ascends the brightest heavens? Do you have any idea how many wanna-be entrepreneurs come in here telling us the same thing?”
“I have to tell you, I think this is a first here in the tank. Some people want to work with us for connections, some want us to be a mentor and share our experience and wisdom. And then there are the ones that just want us for our money. But now here you come, offering us a third of your kingdom, to whichever one of us loves you the best? I’ll make you an offer. Ready? Nothing.”
“All right, Richard. I’ll make you an offer. I’ll give you the horse you’re looking for, but I’m gonna need 100% of your kingdom.”