Ok, this Shortlist link tells us about upcoming Shakespeare movies to ‘get excited about’ in 2014. At first I was because I didn’t realize there were 4. But let’s look more closely.
Ok, we’ve talked about this enough already. I think “cautiously hopeful” would be the best we can say, especially after the trailer came out. You know, the one with the flamethrowers?
This one should be good, although maybe I’m just out of the loop that I don’t recognize any of the names they’re dropping. Michael Fassbender? Marion Cotillard (who we’ve previously discussed)? Fine. But then they’re all “Ooo! It’s being directed by the guy that did Snowtown!” and I’m all, “What the heck is Snowtown?”
What I think is really funny is that they’re *still* saying “…who replaced Natalie Portman.” We first learned that back in August 2013. I think that lends evidence to my theory that name recognition is everything. Even though she’s not in it, they still want the buzz that her name generates. (Trivia – Natalie Portman auditioned for Juliet in Baz Luhrman’s movie but didn’t get it because she was way too small compared to DiCaprio and it looked too pedophilish.)
3) Enemy of Man
I’ll just leave this here, from the summary: “stripping back the dialogue and cranking up the action.” Yeah, because that’s why we go see Shakespeare. For the action. Maybe they could tackle Hemingway next? (“Dude, did you see that guy just gut that other guy from his stomach all the way up to his face?” / “I know! That’s some straight up Macbeth action right there!”)
I started out optimistic about this one when I first heard about it back in 2011, pondering whether it could be another Rosencrantz and Guildenstern are Dead. Then I got a look at the source material, which proudly describes itself thusly:
“Rosie knows that she and Rob are destined to be together. They are best friends, next door neighbors, and the soon-to-be cutest couple in their senior class. Rosie has been waiting for years for Rob to kiss her–and when he finally does, it’s perfect. But just before their relationship becomes completely official, Rosie’s cousin Juliet moves back into town. Juliet, who used to be Rosie’s best friend. Juliet, who now inexplicably hates her. Juliet, who is gorgeous, vindictive, and a little bit crazy…and who has set her sights on Rob. He doesn’t even stand a chance.
Rosie is devastated over losing Rob to Juliet. This is not how the story was supposed to go. And when rumors start swirling about Juliet’s instability, her neediness, and her threats of suicide, Rosie starts to fear not only for Rob’s heart, but also for his life. Because Shakespeare may have gotten the story wrong, but we all still know how it ends.”
The scariest thing about this project is that it really makes you say “Who the f%& is deciding what movies get made these days?”
My favorite part of the summary, I think, is that it’s going to be in “modern language.” Because, well, you know, Rosaline doesn’t actually HAVE ANY LINES IN SHAKESPEARE’S PLAY! At least the villains making this one didn’t go all Julian Fellowes and just start adding in random crap that sounds like Shakespeare to them.
So maybe I’m “excited” for just the Macbeth? Maybe the Cymbeline. Technically it sounds like two of them aren’t even Shakespeare. I’d like to hear more about Enemy of Man and just how much original text it uses.