Cracked is at it again, only this time they missed their biggest chance yet to bring up our hero.  When I see an article called 7 Lost Bodies of Work That Would Have Changed Everything I immediately bookmark it for Shakespeare references.  I read the whole thing up to #1, expecting Shakespeare on the list.  He’s not.  Sure, Jesus is.  DaVinci.  Even Hemingway.  But nothing for our boy.  Shakespeare’s only reference in the article comes when speaking of Chaucer, first arguing the “Chaucer was second only to Shakespeare” and then later hinting at who was greater by suggesting that if Chaucer had finished his tales, “Shakespeare would have had so much more to work with.”

Can we think about this one for a moment?  Perhaps they did not realize that the works of William Shakespeare, as he wrote and intended them, are effectively lost.  We have the sonnets, published it is presumed without his permission (and certainly edited and arranged without his input).  And we have the Folio, lovingly put together by his friends, yes – but not the same thing at all as “Shakespeare wrote these exact words” when people are remembering them years after he’s dead.  You can forever look at the works and ask, “Yes but what did Shakespeare intend here?” For that matter you could start with, “Did Shakespeare really write this?” I don’t mean the Authorship folks, I mean, “Is this the final draft as Shakespeare intended it, or did he revise later? Was it misremembered by the person copying it down?” and so on.

What do you think it would mean if we have documentation from the life and works of William Shakespeare?  What if we knew everything about him?  Would the conspiracy theories disappear, or multiply?  Would modern interpretation dry up?

There is a lot of buzz about this interesting case from my neck of the woods, where juvenile delinquents are being sentenced to Shakespeare. I scanned the article to see if there’s any mention of the very well-regarded Shakespeare Behind Bars, but there is none.I don’t know how I feel about this on several levels.  First, there’s an issue regarding the quality of the journalism.  “I’ve been asked to refer to them by their first names to protect their privacy,” the author notes parenthetically in a paragraph next to a video of the kids?!  Thanks for describing the same young man as “sporting an over-sized red hoodie and a slight shadow of facial hair,” I see exactly who you’re talking about.

Second, I’m not a big fan of Shakespeare as punishment.  Equating Shakespeare as something *worse* than prison is not helpful.  That’s why I grabbed the subject line, a quote from one of the kids.  A judge has just told him that he is *not* going to juvenile hall; he is instead going to do Shakespeare, and that’s his reaction.  That saddens me.  This is ten times worse than “Memorize the balcony scene because I’m your teacher and I said so.”  Forget about the fear of a failing grade. Now you’ve got the weight of the courts mandating you to drag your feet through it.

“This program is not designed to fix them,” the director says.  “That’s not our goal.”  Awesome.  The entire goal is to give the kids an outlet for their anger.  In the video voiceover (I do not see this bit in the article text) he also points out that Henry V was chosen specifically for the physicality, rather than a Hamlet where you sit around talking.  (Insert obligatory joke here about that year they tried Titus Andronicus and the chaos that ensued 😉 ).  The above-linked “Shakespeare Behind Bars”, in comparison, takes on The Tempest – a play with almost no violence at all, instead populated with magic, fairies and monsters.

I don’t really see the difference between this and those programs where you’d take kids down to the gym and let them punch the heavy bag for a little while, or take up karate.  Shakespeare teaches these kids self-control.  So would a black belt martial arts instructor who put them on the ground every time they got out of control.  Maybe this is a good thing, and I’m just too far removed from that end of our world, and I don’t see it.  I see the irony in the director quoting Macbeth’s “I have no words, my voice is in my sword.”  When they quote a student who punched his locker instead of his friend as if this were a good thing, I think, “How about getting to a place where he doesn’t punch anything?”

“Am I allowed to say whatever I want?” asks one kid who’s obviously just doing whatever he can to stay out of jail.  “It just gives me something to do after school so I’m not selling drugs.”  There will be people that read that and say “See? He’s not selling drugs!”  All I see is “Ok, he’s not getting anything out of it other than a place he’s required to be for a few hours, and when his sentence is over he’ll go right back to doing what he’s been doing.”  The people running the program, who clearly state “We’re not therapists,” acknowledge that the kids might re-offend.

Maybe it’s a good program and a terrible article.  This “Shakespeare in the Courts” program has been running for 10 years, apparently.  Where’s the story from the graduate of the program who’s gone on to do great things with his life?  Have you got even one kid who got turned around? Any success stories? Any?

I just recently found 365 Days of Shakespeare, and I’m kicking myself for not having done so sooner.  In this linked post she’s found the French translations of some Shakespeare works, and asks how many you can name.  I’m … not good at that game.  Sure, “Jules Cesar” is pretty obviously Midsummer 😉 but I wouldn’t have a clue at Songe d’une Nuit d’ete without some googling.  Much Ado, maybe?

Sometimes I like to poke around Google and see what sorts of Shakespeare questions people ask.  We did this will great success on the “Why Does Romeo?” thread earlier this year.

I found an interesting one today, though, that stumps me a little bit.  The following question ends up being the most popular question on my list, above “How did Hamlet die” and “What does Romeo compare Juliet to”.  Ready for this?  Well, I suppose there’s really no surprise as I put it right in the title.  Where does Cleopatra live?

I can’t imagine why that is such a popular question.  Is there a modern pop singer with that name, or something?  Given that it is being asked in the present tense, you see. Even googling for the answer, at least right now, turns up no meaningful results.  Lots of variations (“Where in Egypt did Cleopatra live?”) but none for that exact phrasing.  Makes me wonder if people are asking a question that’s not being answered.

So here we are.  Where does Cleopatra live?  There’s the easy answer of “Alexandria, Egypt.”  Is there a better or different answer, in the context of the Shakespeare play?

Update: Couple hours later, and we’re on the first page of Google results for this question.  So make it good!

If you’ve arrived from Google and this is *not* the answer to the question you were hoping for, please share with us what you meant so we can help you find the answer!  We’re good like that.