Ok, I set a goal for myself of having something to distribute to strangers by Wednesday. Today I asked my daughter to approach her teacher and ask whether she’d be interested in seeing the early version of my work. She said absolutely she would, and with permission she would share it with her class.  I also took the opportunity to email my other daughter’s fourth grade teacher, who also said that she’d happily read it.

So my first draft, sitting at just over 3800 words, is now sitting in both those inboxes. How will two actual teachers of this stuff take it? I honestly have no idea, and I’m quite curious. They could hate it. But I’ve since learned that this would not be the end of the world, and the feedback is crucial to the project. I know the audience I’m aiming at, and they know that audience better than I, so I can’t be afraid of what they’ve got to tell me.

The only thing I fear would be anything coming back on my kids. I asked my oldest daughter whether it would be embarrassing for her to have my book in progress read by all her friends. She said, and I’m quoting, “No it wouldn’t be embarrassing at all why would you even think that it would be. I think it would be awesome.”

What other encouragement does a father need?

Before the night’s out I’m going to send copies to a couple of other teachers from the past who showed an interest in our Shakespeare work. The younger the class the more unlikely that they’ll be able to share the material, but I can still get the teacher’s input.

Hovering at just over 3000 words.  Have let several people read the rough draft and gotten feedback, which I’ve incorporated. Turns out that when you’re writing for this age level, if you don’t clearly say “and then he dies,” your reader won’t realize that the character has died. When I heard, “Wait, Laertes dies?!” discussed between my daughters I had to go back and look at what I’d written was this:

Laertes, now near death himself, tells Hamlet everything: how the wine was poisoned, how the sword was poisoned, how Hamlet himself is as good as dead and just hasn’t fallen down yet. He tells Hamlet that it was all Claudius, and begs Hamlet’s forgiveness.

I guess they’re right, it’s not exactly clear :).

I’ve also got some rudimentary structure in my head that hopefully I can flesh out enough to give to non-family members and have it not look half finished. I’ve started and restarted Hamlet guides many times over the years, and I’ve always found the hardest part is in having a lot to say and not knowing the best way to organize it.  This hard deadline and fixed audience is at least putting me on the right track to complete something, even if it doesn’t give Harold Bloom a run for his money.

Act I, Scene 3 

OPHELIA

And hath given countenance to his speech, my lord,
With almost all the holy vows of heaven.

LORD POLONIUS

Ay, springes to catch woodcocks.

…

Act V, Scene 2 

OSRIC

How is’t, Laertes? 

LAERTES

Why, as a woodcock to mine own springe, Osric;
I am justly kill’d with mine own treachery.

Never noticed that before.

Wordcount : 2844

I was more interested in editing today. You look at what I’ve got written and it’s seven pages of nothing but lengthy paragraphs.  I don’t expect middle schoolers to dive right into that.

Here’s the conversation I had with my 11yr old test subject this morning (my daughter):

Me: Did you read the latest version?

Her: I did.

Me: What did you think, did you like it?

Her: I did like it. It’s good.

Me: What should I change?

Her: Nothing.

Me: Seriously, it won’t hurt my feelings, there’s got to be things that I can change to make it better.

Her: No, really, nothing. It’s good. Don’t change it.

Me: Really?  Nothing?

Her:  ….wellllll……who is Gertrude?

Me: …  ummm…..err……QUEEN Gertrude?  Hamlet’s MOTHER?

Her:  Ohhhhhhh!

Me:  That’s in the second sentence!

Her: Well I didn’t get it!

Me:  You just said it was good it was good don’t change a thing!

<later, in front of the computer>

Me: I used the word Gertrude 11 times.  I used the word mother 11 times. I’m not sure where it got confusing.

Her: Yeah but you never said mother Gertrude together!

Me: You mean other than here in the second sentence where I wrote Hamlet’s mother Gertrude?

Her:  There should be a comma there.

Me: What?

Her: After mother.  Hamlet’s mother, comma, Gertrude.

Me: That’s not the point!

Tonight we’re visiting friends, who have a daughter my own daughter’s age who is also into theatre.  The whole family is extraordinarily well-read but admittedly weak in Shakespeare. They also know I’m doing this project. I will almost certainly bring them a copy.