Author: duane

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Best of “Shakespearean First Drafts”

~ duane ~ 1 Comment
I got into work this morning to a note from Bardfilm that he’d started a new game on Twitter that he called, “Shakespearean First Drafts”.  As has become our new policy, here’s a best-of post for posterity:
  • “We are all made of dream stuff.”
  •  “Hey look, it’s Juliet up in the balcony. Hi, Juliet!”
  •  “Brutus is a cool dude.  All these dudes, are cool dudes.”
  • “For aught that ever I could read, / The course of true love never was a walk i’ th’ park.”
  • “Alas, poor Yorick. I knew him, Horatio. Crummy clown, bad material.”
  • “Wanted: 1 horse. 10 bucks. Willing to negotiate. Call Rick ASAP.”
  • “Anyone got a horse? Cause I really need one, like right now.”
  • Claudius: How is’t the clouds still hang on you? Hamlet: You suck! You’re not my real dad!
  • “Holy crap, it’s Yorick! Yorick died? When the frick did that happen?”
  • “And you, also, are among these conspirators? Oh, Brutus. Really?”
  • “My mistress’ eyes are almost like the sun. Something like? Nearly like? Partly?”
  • “By the tickling of my nose, something evil this way blows.”
  • “To be or not – I’m kinda leaning one way, but I’m a bit on the fence, you know?”
  • “Two loves I have, of comfort and despair, / And darned if I know what to do with either one.”
  • “The game’s a toe!”
  • “Darn it, Goneril just said what I was gonna say.”
  • “There’s something a bit off in the state of Denmark.”

Somebody’s Doing Virtual Shakespeare Monkeys (Again)

~ duane ~ 4 Comments

I almost missed it, but looks like the idea of writing computer code to simulate the “infinite monkeys typing Shakespeare” thing has come around again.

As a programmer, I know what it’s like to have free time and to do stuff like this (well, I used to :)).  So we won’t debate the uselessness, or the apparent misunderstanding between “infinite” and “millions and millions.”  You can have all the millions you want, it’s still not infinite.

Instead I’ll just point out that it’s been done before. The source link is long dead, but my blog post back in 2005 should serve as proof that the idea is far from a new one.

When is somebody going to try the Schroedinger’s Cat experiment, and give the monkeys a rest?

Tempest Puppets

~ duane ~ Leave a comment

This story about a rock music Tempest puppet show sounded very interesting, and then I spotted the caption on the first picture: “We have no respect for the play.” Uh oh.

Later, thankfully, the quote is put into a bit better context:

“We wanted to make The Tempest quite easily understandable,” continues
McCarthy. “We’re using Shakespeare and if we want to change it, we
change it. We have no respect for it, I suppose.”

This being German, the story then goes on to discuss whether puppets are inherently a children’s show, and ends with a description of one particular show (not Shakespeare) that involved sadomasochistic puppets performing sex acts. Yikes.

R3 Experiment : Funny Villains

~ duane ~ 4 Comments

I’m not quite sure how to categorize this, but when I got to Richard saying something as over-the-top awesome as, “Simple, plain Clarence! I do love thee so, That I will shortly send thy soul to heaven,” I thought “Man, I need to make a post out of that.”

I’m sure that he’s going to say amazing stuff like that many times in this play.  That’s right up there with Aaron the Moor’s “Villain, I have done thy mother.”

What else ya got?  Iago’s got lots of evil lines, but which ones are really his best over-the-top ones that make you laugh out loud and say “Oh my god that was awesome, I love this guy.”

R3 Experiment : The Comedy Stylings of Richard III

~ duane ~ 15 Comments

So I’m tackling Richard III, as I mentioned, and blogging as I go.


Now, see, all I’ve ever heard about Richard III is about the villain, the monster, the deformed killer of children.  Nobody told me the man is hysterical.

I mean, seriously, is it just the Librivox audio I’m listening to, or are the opening scenes supposed to be laugh-out-loud funny?  Richard and Lady Anne give off this really dark Beatrice and Benedick vibe that I was not expecting at all.

Richard (alone) : Hmmm, I think I’ll marry Lady Anne. True, true, I did kill her husband and father, but I can work around that.

Enter Lady Anne.

Richard:  Marry me!

Lady Anne: You killed my husband and my father!

Richard: Well, yes. Marry me anyway!

Lady Anne: I’ll think about it.

Exit Lady Anne.

Richard (alone):  I can’t believe that worked!

And that’s after the whole opening with Clarence, which was equally over the top silly:

Richard (alone) : Now, see, all I need to do is slip the king a note that he has to beware of someone whose name starts with G.

Enter Clarence.

Richard:  Clarence!  Where you off to?

Clarence: The Tower!

Richard:  The Tower! Goodness, why are you being sent to the tower?

Clarence: I have no idea!  The King says it’s because my name is George, can you believe it?

Richard: That’s the strangest thing I’ve ever heard!  Well, fear not, I’m sure everything will work out.

(* See, the whole “I thought your name was Clarence?” thing that KJ mentions in his comments earlier, never bothered me. I just assumed that Clarence was his title and that George was a little used first name. )

Anyway…is the whole play like this?  That’s some of the most ridiculously funny stuff I’ve seen in a while.  I’m waiting for the beheadings.