Need New Shakespeare Books?

~ duane ~ Leave a comment

I wonder if this is a regular thing – Six New Titles on Shakespeare, explaining exactly who wrote each, what they’re about, who might like them, and so on.  Something to check out if you’re interested in upcoming Shakespeare books but not normally in a position where you get access to this information.

The “Shakespeare’s Shrine” one looks interesting, detailing Stratford and how it became what it is today (thanks in no small part to David Garrick, of course).

Must See Movie Event Of The Summer

~ duane ~ 3 Comments

Did Julie Taymor and Russell Brand leave a bad taste in your mouth?

Christopher Plummer’s The Tempest is coming to the big screen!

This looks ridiculously good.
Even better?  Unlike many other Shakespeare films that barely see any widescreen release (ahem Coriolanus), the web site actually lists every movie theatre in every state where it will play!  And it’s close to me in Massachusetts!
Note, however, that this is a *one time event* — Thursday, June 14, 7pm.  Now I just have to hope I can make it!

Would You Buy …

~ duane ~ 1 Comment

We have Shakespeare Geek merchandise.  You knew that, right?  Mostly t-shirts, but also some bags, bumper stickers … the usual assortment.

What I’ve always wanted, though, is a polo shirt (short sleeve, pull-over, collared shirt in case that term is not well known) that has a little embroidered Shakespeare head as its logo.  I’ve never seen one for sale.  Since this is more common workplace-wear than a t-shirt, I would have a whole assortment of these in my closet if I could find them.
Logical question, can they be made?  Easier said than done.  I know how to have it done.  The problem is in the embroidery thing.  With a t-shirt you pretty much make a reasonably high resolution graphic and you’re all set.  But for embroidery your graphic has to be turned into a pattern, and you need somebody who knows how to do this, you can’t just automate it and hope for the best – otherwise your final product looks awful.
This is a service that costs a few hundred dollars to set up.  This is what’s always stopped me from doing it.  I want the shirt, but I don’t want to pay several hundred dollars just because I want it.
So I’ll throw it out there, in something of a poor geek’s KickStarter style…  If we were to set up a project to make such a shirt available, would you buy it?  Would you be willing to pre-order such a thing to help with the up-front cost?  How much would you be willing to pay for such a shirt?  You have to understand that this could not possibly ever be a $10 special – these custom things never are.  My best guess is that if it came in under $40/shirt I’d be pleased.  That’s just from experience, I have not yet researched the project.
Naturally, if we were going to do it we’d have to make available a variety of sizes and colors.  Who knows, maybe we could even have different lines where some people like a little Droeshout portrait, but others prefer the Chandos.   *pause*  Ok, I just got myself excited.  The idea of having half a dozen of these shirts, each with a different little Shakespeare head on it?  That would be ridonkulously geeky.
If you would be seriously interested, email me and tell me.  I am not going to ask for any money yet, I have nothing set up (which is also why I’m not going to head to Kickstarter).  This is to see who is willing to say that they’d put some money up front for such a line of merchandise.  Honestly, if nobody is willing to do that, then we don’t make them, and that’s the end of it.  
Worth a shot, right?
Also do note that I am in no way married to the idea of having to make the shirt myself like some sort of business brainstorm.  I just want the shirt to exist.  If somebody out there knows how to make it happen via different means, I’m happy to hear about that.

The 7 Year Challenge

~ duane ~ 4 Comments

Today I realized that I haven’t been in the blogging business *6* years, I’m coming up on *7* years. A little math told me that I’ve made 2364 posts in 2555 days, for something like a 93% hit rate.  The fact that I did not achieve a sustained 1 post/day average over this time troubles me.  I like round numbers.

So then I thought, can I do it?  Can I celebrate my 7 year anniversary by actually achieving that goal?  By my count that means I need to post 191 stories in the next 21 days.  That sounds impossible.

Doesn’t mean I’m not going to try it. 🙂

Wish me luck!

Knock Knock! The Definitive List of Shakespeare Knock Knock Jokes (Guest Post)

~ duane ~ 9 Comments

From time to time, Bardfilm and Shakespeare Geek have tried putting a Shakespearean spin on some of the classic genres of humor. They’ve previously tackled light bulb jokes and dealt with why the chicken crossed the road. Finally, the great challenge of the Knock knock joke proved irresistible. Here are some Shakespearean knock-knock jokes that you can use to entertain or torment your friends, colleagues, and children.  No, you don’t need advanced Shakespeare knowledge to get all of them – but it certainly helps sometimes!

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Knock, Knock.
Who’s there?
Oberon.
Oberon who?
Oberon the other bank you might try to catch some fish.

Knock, Knock.
Who’s there?
Noah.
Noah who?
Noah’s the winter of our discontent.

Knock, Knock.
Who’s there?
Dogberry.
Dogberry who?
Dog bury a bone in my petunias again, dog get sent to the pound.

Knock, Knock.
Who’s there?
Julius Caesar.
Julius Caesar who?
Julius, seize her! She’s the one who stole my wallet!

Knock, Knock.
Who’s there?
The Earl of Oxford.
The Earl of Oxford who?
Exactly.

Knock, Knock.
Who’s there?
Wherefore means.
Wherefore means who?
No, “wherefore” means “why.” How many times do we have to go over this?

Knock, Knock.
Who’s there?
Nay, answer me!  Stand and unfold yourself.
Long live the king?

Knock, Knock.
Who’s there?
Laertes.
Laertes who?
Layer Ts and sweaters to stay dry and comfortable on the ski slopes.

Knock, Knock.
Who’s there?
The Nightingale.
The Nightingale who?
Ha! Fooled you! It’s really the Lark.

Knock, Knock.
Who’s there?
Orlando.
Orlando who?
Or Lando or Leia or Luke or Chewbacca will pilot the Millennium Falcon.

Knock, Knock, Knock, Knock, Knock, Knock.
Who’s there?
Tom.
Tom who?
Tom R. O. and Tom R. O. and Tom R. O.  We creep in this petty pace from day to day.

Knock, Knock.
Who’s there?
Shelly.
Shelly who?
Shelly compare thee to a summer’s day?

Knock, Knock.
Who’s there?
Hal.
Hal who?
Hal long until Henry IV dies and I can become king?

Knock, Knock.
Who’s there?
Gracie Zar.
Gracie Zar who?
Gracie Zar’s Ghost!

Knock, Knock.
Who’s there?
Et.
Et who?
Et tu, Brute? Then fall, Caesar!

Knock, Knock.
Who’s there?
Utah.
Utah who?
Utah me language, and my profit on it is I know how to curse!

Knock, Knock.
Who’s there?
The cause, my soul.
The cause, my soul who?
Let me not name it to you!

Knock, Knock.
Who’s there?
Leon.
Leon who?
Leon Macduff.

Knock, Knock.
Who’s there?
Rosencrantz.  No, wait, Guildenstern! *sigh*—let me get back to you.

Knock, Knock.
Who’s there?
Ferris.
Ferris who?
Ferris foul and foul is fair.

Knock, Knock.
Who’s there?
Lysander.
Lysander who?
Lie, Sander, and you’ll get in trouble, Sander.

Knock, Knock.
Who’s there?
Cordelia.
Cordelia who?
Oh, that’s real nice, Daddy. I come all the way from France with an army to rescue you and that’s the welcome I get.

Knock, Knock.
Who’s there?
Falstaff.
Falstaff who?
[Excessively Loud Belch]

Knock, Knock.
Who’s there?
Will Shakespeare.
Will Shakespeare who?
Will Shakespeare or just stand there holding one as long as I get to be on stage.

Knock, Knock.
Who’s there?
Desdemona.
Desdemona who?
Nobody.  I myself.  Farewell.

Knock, Knock.
Who’s there?
Riese.
Riese who?
Riese and not the need.

Knock, Knock.
Who’s there?
The Porter from Macbeth.
The Porter from Macbeth who?
The Porter from Macbeth, who wants to know how you like it! Knock, Knock. Knock, Knock. Knock, Knock. Knock, Knock. Knock, Knock. Knock, Knock. Knock, Knock. Knock, Knock.

Knock, Knock.
Who’s there?
Interrupting Chorus.
Interrupting . . .
O FOR A MUSE OF FIRE!

Knock, Knock.
Who’s there?
Demetrius.
Demetrius who?
Just try to Demetri us before we Demetri you!

Knock, Knock.
Who’s there?
Hamlet.
Hamlet who?
Ham let Ophee fall in love with him.

Knock, Knock.
Who’s there?
Hamlet.
Hamlet who?
Hamlet the dogs out!  (woof, woof woof woof…)

Knock, Knock.
Who’s there?
Helena.
Helena who?
Helena handbasket is where this world seems to be going.

Knock, Knock.
Who’s there?
Pericles.
Pericles who?
Well, I know it’s not Hamlet, but it’s not that unknown.

Knock, Knock.
Who’s there?
Rosaline.
Rosaline who?
Yeah, that’s what Romeo said as soon as he saw Juliet.

Knock, Knock.
Who’s there?
Lloyd.
Lloyd who?
Lloyd, what fools these moytals be.

Knock, Knock.
Who’s there?
Mary.
Mary who?
Mary, your manhood mew.

Knock, Knock.
Who’s there?
William Shakespeare.
William Shakespeare who?
William Shakespeare cans so they explode when you open them.

Knock, Knock.
Who’s there?
Interrupting Richard the Third.
Interrupting Richard the . . .
HORSE!

Knock, Knock.
Who’s there?
Amos.
Amos who?
Amos shapen knave; his mother was a witch, and one so strong that could control the moon!

Knock, Knock.
Who’s there?
Otis.
Otis who?
Otis too, too solid flesh! I wish it would melt, thaw, and resolve itself into a dew!

Or . . .

Otis too true! How smart a lash that speech doth give my conscience.


Knock knock.
Who’s there?
Mike.
Mike who?
Mike Ingdom for a horse.

Knock knock.
Who’s there?
Arthur.
Arthur who?
Arthur world’s a stage, and all the men and women merely players.

Knock knock.
Who’s there?
Toby.
Toby who?
Wait—sorry. Not Toby.
Make up your mind! Who’s there?
Toby or not Toby, that is the question.

Shakespearean Knock Knock JokesWe thank kj, the author of Bardfilm, for this guest post. Bardfilm is a blog that comments on films, plays, and other matters related to Shakespeare.