Everybody knows that Gnomeo and Juliet is coming. What I want to know is, do you care? How much? You could see this as a warning sign of the apocalypse, I suppose – animated musical Shakespeare with talking garden gnomes?
Not me. As I’m sure everybody realizes, I’m downright irrational about this. It’s Disney. Talking about Shakespeare. In wide release. This is the dream! I first mentioned Disney adaptations of Shakespeare back in March, 2006. I absolutely positively dream of a world where children from the time they can be plopped down in front of a television set can watch, over and over again, a DVD of Midsummer Night’s Dream or Tempest or Twelfth Night….or yes, even a tamed Romeo and Juliet. Long time followers of the blog know that I’ve been pursuing that dream down whatever avenue I can. Sure, I think that The Tempest is a much better choice (among other things you can embrace the ending instead of rewriting it!!), but I digress.
Nobody, but nobody, teaches Shakespeare to three year olds. It’s madness. Well, duh, obviously not nobody because you all know that I’m doing it so by definition there could be others as well, that’s not my point. My point is that my kids, at this age, will in all likelihood never meet another child their age that has the kind of Shakespeare exposure they do. As they get older that’s obviously changing, but remember I’ve been at this game for 4+ years now, and when my 4yr old son runs up to one of his friends and says, “Hey Matt! To be or not to be!” I’ve yet to see another little 4yr old say, “That is the question!”
But imagine a scenario where you get to lead with this, instead: “Hey, have you taken the kids to the new Disney movie yet?” Now imagine how many Yes answers you get. Now take every 4 yr old that saw the movie and ask them what it was about, and listen to them tell you how Gnomeo and Juliet want to be together but their parents won’t let them. Well, being 4yr olds they’re more likely to remember the various fart jokes that I’m sure abound, but once you buy the inevitable DVD and they’ve had a chance to watch it 20 times? And buy the merchandise? My 4yr old can tell you the story of Buzz and Woody or Shrek and Donkey at the drop of a hat, so I have no reason to think that the story of Gnomeo and Juliet would be any different.
I know, sadly, that this is almost certainly not going to happen. I may know that this is a Disney-backed production, but that doesn’t mean that they’re leading with the Disney brand. I don’t see a Magic Kingdom logo and Tinkerbell giving that little sparkly blessing. It’s Touchstone. Touchstone is good, don’t get me wrong. But Touchstone isn’t a merchandising machine, and my kids certainly don’t know their Touchstone from their Miramax. I expect that this movie will be average, at best. And when you ask if people have seen it, maybe you’ll get half the number of Yes answers that you would if it was a true Disney production. I highly doubt that we’d ever see merchandising. My kids are unlikely to get stuffed garden gnomes.
….but just imagine if they *did*. It makes me happy to dream about that.

Although Bardfilm doesn’t have any visceral objections to the Super Bowl, he does find Shakespeare more interesting. In the list below, he offers some of his reasons. Enjoy them—and follow the hashtag #ShakesBowl on Twitter to see what other reasons people come up with—and to add your own to the mix!

Shakespeare is better than the Super Bowl . . .

. . . because most Super Bowls are only four quarters long. All Shakespeare plays are five acts.

. . . because millions have been talking about Hamlet for over 400 years—but how many remember who won Super Bowl IV?

. . . because you can be sure that neither Macbeth nor Macduff will call time out in the middle of their exciting battle.

. . . because the ads during a Shakespeare play . . . well, all right. Super Bowl ads are pretty good.

. . . because the coaches hardly ever deliver the St. Crispin’s Day Speech to their teams during halftime—even though they really ought to!

. . . because when Hamlet talks about “Singeing his pate against the burning zone,” he’s not talking about the End Zone.

. . . because if you feel disappointed at the end of a Shakespeare play, you’ve been rooting for the wrong people.

. . . because women in Shakespeare are generally treated with more respect than women dancing at the Super Bowl are.

. . . because “The Battle of the Century” should refer to something like Bosworth Field, not a Football Field.

. . . because “Two households, both alike in dignity” seldom describes the Super Bowl matchup.

. . . because the pre-game show usually consists of a speech like “O, for a muse of Fire” instead of inane chatter.

. . . because “Those friends thou hast, and their adoption tried, / Grapple them to thy soul with hoops of Steelers” doesn’t have quite the right ring to it.

. . . because John Madden seldom delivers a play-by-play on a Shakespeare play.

. . . because concussions only occur in Shakespeare very rarely—usually by accident when the Scottish Play is being performed.

. . . because Sonnet XLV begins with “The other two, slight air and purging fire, / Are both with thee, wherever I abide”; Super Bowl XLV begins with a sixteen-hour pre-game show.

. . . because Because the Black-Eyed Peas’ “I Gotta Feeling” doesn’t show quite the emotional range of Romeo and Juliet.

. . . because Rosalind says “my affection hath an unknown bottom, like the bay of Portugal” not “. . . like the bay of green.”

And don’t forget to follow #ShakesBowl on Twitter during the big game for more reasons!

Sir Patrick Stewart CBE is to receive this year’s Pragnell Shakespeare Birthday Prize.
I’m not really sure what that means, but past winners include Sir Ian McKellen and Dame Judi Dench, so Sir Patrick is in good company.

I love the paradox : Shakespeare is so difficult and irrelevant to modern society that nobody can understand why we even teach him anymore … and yet every time a new movie comes out, inevitably somebody compares it to Shakespeare.
Today’s example is True Grit, the current remake of the old John Wayne western. Although the linked interview is with 14yr old Hailee Steinfeld, she quotes co-star Barry Pepper for the Shakespeare reference.
Combing through the quotes page on IMDB, I found this amusing bit of dialogue that Mr. Shakespeare himself might have penned:

Rooster Cogburn: The jakes is occupied.

Mattie Ross: I know it is occupied Mr. Cogburn. As I said, I have business with you.

Rooster Cogburn: I have prior business.

Mattie Ross: You have been at it for quite some time, Mr. Cogburn.

Rooster Cogburn: There is no clock on my business! To hell with you! To hell with you! How did you stalk me here?

Mattie Ross: The sheriff told me to look in the saloon. In the saloon they referred me here. We must talk.

Rooster Cogburn: Women ain’t allowed in the saloon!

Mattie Ross: I was not there as a customer. I am fourteen years old.

Rooster Cogburn: The jakes is occupied. And will be for some time.