Category: Shakespeare Geek

I Guess Google Bard Prefers The Comedies?

~ duane ~ Leave a comment

I have a database of Shakespeare character deaths that I use for various projects (doesn’t everybody?) I need to make a comparable one for characters who survive. But not everybody, just enough to balance the list. Hey, I thought, I’ll ask ChatGPT to help me with it. Or, wait, better – I’ll ask Google Bard.

This isn’t what “never say die” means, Bard.

It’s all in the wording, apparently

This screenshot is the result of my whittling down a number of surprisingly poor answers. I asked, “can you name 10 well known characters from Shakespeare plays who don’t die at the end” and it could not. Told me it’s only a language model. To put it differently, I asked, “who are some popular Shakespeare characters that die at the end,” same answer.

So I thought maybe it was having an issue with “popular.” Then I asked, “can you name any Shakespeare characters” and it happily gave me a list of the “most famous” ones. Lastly I tried, “name a Shakespeare character that dies at the end,” and, again, an error message (“I am not programmed to assist with that”).

Eventually we ended up at the screenshot above. Can you tell me whether someone is alive at the end? Yes. Can you tell me whether someone dies? No.

What about the other guy?

For the record, ChatGPT did just fine:

In Conclusion

Stick to the comedies, Google. They have a lovely dance at the end, maybe a nice wedding.

Hello, World. A Soon-To-Be Geeklet Story.

~ duane
And fix’d his eyes upon you?

Hello, class.

Soon I’m going to have the chance to do something I haven’t done in years. I’m going in to my son’s classroom to talk about Shakespeare. I used to do this all the time when my kids were in elementary school. But now I’ve got two off in college and he’s soon to follow them. I have no idea what I’ll do or say.

What I do know is that the class knows this, and my spies tell me that some of them immediately wanted to know about my site so they could cyberstalk me. I wish I’d anticipated that – the blog’s been a bit messy lately, for a number of reasons that I will not turn into excuses. I should do better.

That was a number of days ago at this point, so I expect that most of them got bored and forgot all about me.

But! Maybe I picked up some new followers. Maybe there are some other students in the class that are interested in the subject matter, maybe even as excited for the novelty of somebody like me coming in as speaker as I am about being said speaker. I remember high school. I remember being a nerd. I remember the joy of knowing things and the fear of showing it, lest ye be bullied. In fact, it’s part of my mission to do what I can to break that pattern. If something brings you joy, you shouldn’t be afraid to demonstrate it. I was almost twenty years out of high school before I figured that out.

So! For the secret nerds that are still reading, let’s have an easter egg:

Corambis

When I come to class, tell me that word and what its significance is to Shakespeare. I’ll have a prize for the first person to do so. (For the record, my son doesn’t know the answer, nor does he know I’m making this post. So there’ll be no cheating there.)

No comments on this post! No hints from regular readers!

Merry Little Christmas to Me!

~ duane ~ 1 Comment

A joyous Epiphany to you all! I didn’t think I would have anything to post this holiday season, but it turns out I got some Shakespeare stuff after all!

Be these the wretches that we play’d at dice for?

My oldest told us all ahead of time that college had been particularly busy this year and that everybody would be getting their presents at some point after the holiday. This added a level of fun because each person got their present separately instead of getting lost in the chaos of the big day.

Both my daughters, at one point or another, fancied themselves writers — my oldest won NaNoWriMo at one point, and her younger sister is in fact, a published novelist. So we have a collection of story cubes scattered around the house. You’ve perhaps seen them, each side of each die has an icon – a man, a woman, an alien, a weapon, an animal … – and you use them however creatively you like to take turns making up stories.

You see where I’m going with this? Behold, from the brains behind Upstart Crow Creations … Shakespeare’s Plot Device Dice (which I’m inevitably going to continue to call Shakespeare Story Cubes)!

Shakespeare's Plot Device Dice by Upstart Crow Creations
Shakespeare's Plot Device Dice by Upstart Crow Creations
Shakespeare's Plot Device Dice by Upstart Crow Creations

Five dice and six sides yield thirty symbols. Luckily there’s a guide to them all because some of the artwork does make you go, “uhhh…??” But how would you iconically show madness? or fate?

My only nitpick is the Death face which is labeled “Only Mostly Dead”. Don’t you be sneaking Princess Bride references into my Shakespeare toys 😉 Just kidding. I get it, and I appreciate it, but it is definitely out of place. There’s also “The Mighty Pen”, which I hope isn’t a reference to “The pen is mightier than the sword.” Because, you know, Shakespeare didn’t write that.

If Hercules and Lichas play at dice, which is the better man?

Like so many of my Shakespeare toys, I have no idea what I will do with this. But I’m happy to add it to my collection! I prefer to think of myself as more Smaug on his horde of gold than Gollum and his precious. My wife thought it was a game to play. I suppose technically it is, just not in the competitive sense. It’s more about storytelling. In theory, people go around the room and build a story collaboratively using what the dice tell them. My daughter chose it for me for inspiration because I, too, have attempted the NaNoWriMo challenge in the past. She thought I could use them when I get stuck on plot ideas.

I’m thinking about a game where you guess the play based purely on the dice (like with emojis). If I get any good results, you’ll be the first to know!

Christmas in Shakespeare’s Plays?

~ duane ~ 1 Comment

I continue playing with ChatGPT in as many varied ways as I can imagine. Last night I asked it to write me a blog post on “Christmas in Shakespeare’s Plays.” Here’s what I got. Let’s dissect!

The celebration of Christmas has a long and varied history, and it has been depicted in literature and art for centuries. In the plays of William Shakespeare, Christmas is often portrayed as a time of joy, celebration, and reflection.

Fine, I guess. Generic.

One of the most well-known references to Christmas in Shakespeare’s plays is in “A Midsummer Night’s Dream.” In this play, the character Bottom describes a dream he had in which he was transformed into an ass and danced at a Christmas feast. This humorous portrayal of Christmas is a lighthearted example of the way in which the holiday was often depicted in Elizabethan England.

…what? After all these years I’ve still got some pretty hefty impostor syndrome when it comes to Shakespeare, so whenever it said Bottom references “dancing at a Christmas feast” my first thought was, “He does? Why don’t I remember that?” So I went looking:

I have had a most rare
vision. I have had a dream, past the wit of man to
say what dream it was: man is but an ass, if he go
about to expound this dream. Methought I was–there
is no man can tell what. Methought I was,–and
methought I had,–but man is but a patched fool, if
he will offer to say what methought I had. The eye
of man hath not heard, the ear of man hath not
seen, man’s hand is not able to taste, his tongue
to conceive, nor his heart to report, what my dream
was. I will get Peter Quince to write a ballad of
this dream: it shall be called Bottom’s Dream,
because it hath no bottom; and I will sing it in the
latter end of a play, before the duke:
peradventure, to make it the more gracious, I shall
sing it at her death.

I even went into the Quarto versions. I’m aware that just searching “Christmas” isn’t going to yield a hit, but so far I see nothing even close. I asked on Twitter, and others didn’t seem to know, either. Hmm. Ok, moving on.

In “Henry V,” Shakespeare references the Christmas season in a more serious manner. The play takes place during the Hundred Years’ War between England and France, and it tells the story of King Henry V’s victory at the Battle of Agincourt. In one scene, the king speaks to his troops on the eve of the battle, reminding them that it is Christmas time and encouraging them to fight for their country.

It’s Christmas Time? <asks Google to remind me when St. Crispin’s Day is> October. Again, I’ll plead ignorance and ask, is there a connection here? Would you call Agincourt “Christmas time”? Ok, one more.

“Twelfth Night” is another play that features Christmas as a prominent theme. The play is set in Illyria during the Christmas season and follows the misadventures of the character Viola, who disguises herself as a man after being shipwrecked on the coast of Illyria. In one memorable scene, the character Sir Toby Belch gets drunk and sings a song about Christmas, declaring it to be “a time for joy, a time for love, a time for peace on earth.”

This is just a no. Twelfth Night is named for when the play was performed, not for the plot. It doesn’t mention anything related to Christmas or the Christmas season at all. And, much like Bottom’s Dream, I have no clue what song of Sir Toby’s it’s talking about. The word “peace” pretty much only appears in the play when people are saying “Hold thy peace.” Joy doesn’t appear at all. No version of “a time for” anything appears at all.

Overall, Shakespeare’s plays depict Christmas as a time of joy, celebration, and reflection. Whether it is through humorous references or more serious themes, the holiday is an important part of the fabric of Elizabethan England and continues to be a beloved tradition today.

And we wrap up with the generic, basically repeating the intro paragraph. This is what I used to teach my kids as the “middle school format”. Make a statement, say what your essay will show. Three paragraphs demonstrating your point. Conclude by restating your original argument.

At first glance I only picked up on Bottom’s Dream and thought, “Oh, interesting, I wonder what bug caused that.” But upon further reading and realization that it’s entirely wrong and just flat out making stuff up, my whole attitude toward the program has changed. A student tasked with looking for Christmas references in Shakespeare’s works could be given this response and assume every word of it is true. I sent me feedback to the creators (which you’re supposed to do, that’s one of the reasons it’s free for people), but I don’t expect it’s something they can address. Where do you even look for the source of something like that?

On that note, Happy Holidays, everyone! I hope everybody gets lots of Shakespeare Geek Merchandise!

The Story of Hamlet and the Eunuch

~ duane ~ 1 Comment
David Garrick as Hamlet, hearing what ChatGPT has in mind.

When people talk about using ChatGPT to write your content for you, I don’t think this is what they had in mind. But it sure is fun!

I’ve never been tested for ADHD, but if you asked me I’d say that I have what I’ll dub “rabbit hole ADHD.” That’s when I’m sitting behind the computer trying (claiming?) to work, while there’s a tv show on in the background that I’ve seen enough times that I have the dialogue memorized, when all of a sudden I’ll say, “Hey, that character that just delivered pizza, I wonder if she’s ever been in anything else?” And then it’s off to IMDB I go to see who she is, read her bio, check out her filmography, and generally start reading the trivia pages. Joey’s grandmother mentions Capricorn One, that starred Elliot Gould, who played Ross and Monica’s father? Oh, wow, the woman who played the grandmother played Mother Superior in the 1980s Christmas-themed horror movie Silent Night, Deadly Night. I remember that one! Apparently they wanted to call it Slayride, which is funny because years later professional wrestler Goldberg would star in a similar movie called Santa’s Slay…”

You get the idea. So if that didn’t set your head spinning yet, brace yourself.

Bardfilm and I are talking about the sonnets, and he provides an academic citation for an argument that I like, stating that it “cuts it off at the source.” This leads to a handful of stream of consciousness jokes, and I want to make a eunuch joke so I go do some quick scanning of Antony and Cleopatra to make sure I have my references right. Because while it’s fun to be quick with a joke, you still have to be accurate.

Bardfilm turns our back and forth into a poem. I know that people have been having fun with ChatGPT asking it to write poems, so I ask it to write a poem about eunuchs. I keep trying to catch it off guard. Nope, it gave me a poem. A bad one, but, you know. Still.

I asked it for a limerick instead, and got one. Again, a bad one.

I then asked it if there are any eunuchs in Shakespeare and it not only told me about Mardian in Antony and Cleopatra and Aaron from Titus Andronicus, but also a reference to Dromio Comedy of Errors where it made it a point to comment that that last one’s probably not true, and just a joke. Impressive.

Then I asked where a eunuch might fit in Hamlet. It gave me a dozen ideas:

For example, the eunuch could be a servant in the royal court of Denmark, where the play is set. They could be a confidant or advisor to one of the main characters, such as Hamlet or the king. Alternatively, the eunuch could be a member of a foreign delegation or embassy, visiting Denmark and bringing news from the outside world.

How far can we push this thing? I asked it, “can you write a scene between Gertrude and a eunuch envoy from Norway?” and it said sure, no problem, and gave me one. Then I said, “now add polonius.” And it did. This thing never blinks. I have yet to get a “I have no idea what you just asked me” or “I don’t know how to do that” response. A lot of “I understand what you asked for and I can’t do that” but never a “I don’t know what you said”.

Ready for the scene it wrote, now featuring Polonius? Here you go!

Gertrude: Welcome to Denmark, honorable envoy. How may I assist you?

Eunuch: Your majesty, I am here on behalf of the king of Norway. He has heard of the recent events in your kingdom and wishes to offer his condolences.

Gertrude: That is kind of him. Please convey my thanks to your king.

Eunuch: I will do so, your majesty. However, there is also a matter of great importance that I must discuss with you.

Gertrude: And what is that?

Eunuch: The king of Norway has received a proposal of marriage from your son, Prince Hamlet. He wishes to know your opinion on the matter.

Polonius: Your majesty, if I may interject. I believe this is a matter that requires careful consideration. Prince Hamlet has been acting very strangely lately, and we must ensure that any decisions made are in the best interests of the kingdom.

Gertrude: Thank you, Lord Polonius. I will take your advice under consideration.

Eunuch: I understand, your majesty. The king of Norway is aware of Prince Hamlet’s reputation and does not wish to cause any trouble. He simply wants to know if the marriage proposal should be considered.

Gertrude: I will discuss the matter with my advisors and the prince himself. Thank you for bringing this to my attention.

Eunuch: Of course, your majesty. I will await your response.

Gertrude: Thank you, envoy. You may take your leave.

Eunuch: Thank you, your majesty. I will return with your answer in due time.

Polonius: I will make sure to inform the prince of this development and advise him accordingly.

Gertrude: Thank you, Lord Polonius. Let us hope that this matter can be resolved peacefully.

King of a Romeo and Juliet “unite the warring families” sort of ending, if you ask me!