Late for work? Forgot to pass in your assignment? Blew off plans you had with friends? Now and as always, Shakespeare’s got you covered…
Shakespearean Excuses for All Occasions
- Flying back to Elsinore for my dad’s funeral, and my mom’s wedding. Don’t ask. Back in a few days.
- Going to live in the forest dressed as a boy for a little while. Back when evil Duke Frederick has a ridiculously unlikely change of heart.
- Got married last night! Didn’t tell my parents. Will explain everything when Romeo gets here.
- My Dogberry ate my homework.
- Had to disguise myself as a boy, it’s compl…what do you mean Rosalind already used that excuse?
- I am so exhausted, I have gotten like zero sleep since my husband and I killed the king the other day.
- Got in huge fight with my dad. Moving to France. Getting married! Everything’s gonna work out ok.
- Shipwrecked on the way back from my cousin’s wedding. Enslaved by evil wizard. Totally met someone, though, so it’s all good.
- Had to flee assassins that got my dad. Will return to Scotland in a few generations to reclaim the crown.
- Need to go give a speech at Caesar’s funeral. Blah blah, good man, will be missed… these things always go the same way.
- Off to England! It’s whole big accidentally-killed-my-girlfriends-father-thought-he-was-the-king thing. Long story.
- Listen, so, I meet this girl at a party, right? Long story short, I kill her cousin, now I’m banished.
- Weird rumor going around that I’m out to kill my father. Only one thing to do, go live in a hovel and pretend to be insane.
- Spent the night in jail because the lady I work for didn’t like the color of my socks. I know, right?
- Bit of a disagreement with my husband. My friend’s got this plan where I go into hiding for 16 years, convince him I’m a statue, and then yell “Boo!”. I think it sounds hysterical.