The Complete Works of William Shakespeare—in Haiku (Guest Post)

The Shakespeare Geek blog has been around since 2005, making it the oldest continually active Shakespeare blog in existence. Shakespeare is Universal represents our biggest fund-raising effort to date. For almost eight years and almost three thousand posts I’ve tried my best to make a place where everyone can talk about everything related to the subject of Shakespeare. If you’ve found my sites and products useful and interesting, I would greatly appreciate your support so that I can continue to do even more. Thank you.


Several years ago, kj (of Bardfilm fame) happened upon a haiku competition. The competition required joining Twitter, and Bardfilm’s first tweet (which won second prize) was a haiku containing the entirety of Hamlet.Since then, kj has periodically added to his collection of Shakespearean haiku—until he created this astonishing set of poems. Let the world take note: The Complete Works of Shakespeare. (Haiku by Bardfilm).

 

The Complete Works
The first folio.
Thirty-seven Shakespeare plays.
Not one Pericles.
Hamlet
A wandering ghost.
My dead father cries “Uncle!”
I must have revenge.
The Winter’s Tale
Much like Othello,
I drink—and see the spider.
Perdita is lost.
The Tempest
Thunder, tempest, calm.
Old enemies reconciled.
Caliban remains.
Macbeth
The three weird sisters:
“When shall we three meet again?”
Macbeth: “Don’t ask me!”
Richard III
I want to be King.
So many stand in my way.
King Richard the Third.
As You Like It
All the world’s a stage
And all the men and women
Are merely players.
King Lear
Which one loves me most?
Nothing shall come of nothing.
Foolish, fond old man.
Romeo and Juliet
Running late, of course.
Not that it’s really my fault . . .
What? Juliet’s dead?
The Comedy of Errors
Double, double twins.
Ephesus or Syracuse?
Confusion . . . Resolved.
Love’s Labour’s Lost
Four men distain love.
Four lovely ladies arrive.
And now—the sequel.
Love’s Labour’s Found
Where did I put that?
I swear, it was over here.
It will turn up soon.
Titus Andronicus
Endless violence.
Hamlet:  The
rest is silence.
Lavinia knows.
Julius Caesar
On the Ides of March.
Which one is honorable?
Brutus was a man.
Othello
Honest Iago.
A magical handkerchief.
I loved not wisely.
Timon of Athens
Hating flatterers,
The greatest of misanthropes—
He can’t not find gold.
Antony and Cleopatra
Rome in Tiber melts.
Infinite variety.
At least the asp lives.
Coriolanus
Coriolanus:
For Rome; against
Rome; for Rome.
A circle of blood.
Merry Wives of Windsor
Queen Liz liked Falstaff.
“Write one with Sir John in Love.”
It wasn’t his best.
Richard II
Royal throne of kings,
This sceptred isle, this England,
Deposes bad kings.
Henry V
Take one muse of fire,
Add an Agincourt rally:
Make bands of brothers.
Pericles
Shakespeare plays lined up.
Pericles, the Prince of Tyre,
Nearly forgotten.
1 Henry VI
Triumph on the stage
With ten thousand spectators.
It joyed brave Talbot.
2 Henry VI
Jack Cade steals the show.
Henry Six Ain’t Henry Five.
Kill all the Lawyers.
3 Henry VI
“O tiger’s heart wrapped”
(Runs the play’s most famous line)
“In a woman’s hide.”
1 Henry IV
Young Hal in Eastcheap.
Banish not sweet Jack Falstaff.
Kill Hotspur instead.
2 Henry IV
I know England’s King!
But I know thee not, old man.
Falstaff deflated.
Two Gentlemen of
Verona
Who is Sylvia?
Valentine’s no gentleman.
Nor is Proteus.
A Midsummer Night’s
Dream
The course of true love.
Forests, donkeys, love potions.
Puck restores amends.
Measure for Measure
Such hypocrisy.
His urine is congealed ice—
Yet he loves a nun.
Merchant of Venice
Gold, silver, and lead.
The will of a dead father.
And one pound of flesh.
Henry VIII
The Maiden Phoenix.
Her ashes create an heir.
The play burned The Globe.
The Taming of the
Shrew
Old Petruchio,
At the end of his life, thinks,
“Wait. Was I the
shrew?”
Two Noble Kinsmen
Two master writers.
Whose narrative is better?
Frankly, Chaucer’s is.
King John
Eighteen ninety-nine.
The first Shakespeare play on film.
Beerbohm-Tree’s King
John
.
Much Ado About Nothing
Merry war of wits.
Much ado about nothing.
Sigh no more, ladies.

 

 

Troilus and Cressida
Prium, King of Troy–
Troilus and Cressida.
Wiley Ulysses.
Twelfth Night
Wear yellow stockings.
Have greatness thrust upon you.
Malvolio’s mad.
All’s Well That Ends
Well            
Problem comedy:
The bed trick marries Bertram.
Love ever endures.
Cymbeline
Imogene is dead.
Golden lads and maids all must—
Hang on—she’s alive!

Our thanks for this guest post to kj, the author of Bardfilm. Bardfilm is a blog that comments on films, plays, and other matters related to Shakespeare.


The Shakespeare Geek blog has been around since 2005, making it the oldest continually active Shakespeare blog in existence. Shakespeare is Universal represents our biggest fund-raising effort to date. For almost eight years and almost three thousand posts I’ve tried my best to make a place where everyone can talk about everything related to the subject of Shakespeare. If you’ve found my sites and products useful and interesting, I would greatly appreciate your support so that I can continue to do even more. Thank you.

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