Author: duane

Don’t trust the internet to do your homework, kids.

~ duane ~ 3 Comments
I found myself on Answers.com today, poking around the Shakespeare questions.  The answers make you want to punch somebody. Let’s look at the question, “How did Rosencrantz and Guildenstern die?”  Here’s the answer that 3 people marked as useful:


Claudius sends Rosencrantz and Guildenstern to go back to England with Hamlet. Before the three of them leave Claudius sends a letter to England telling them to kill Hamlet once he steps on to their soil. The letter is to be delivered by Rosencratnz and Guildenstern, the both of them do not know what the letter says and are merely following the king’s orders. It’s important to note that Rosencratnz and Guildenstern are Hamlet’s good friends and would not have delivered the letter if they had known it was in fact Hamlet’s death sentence. Hamlet finds this letter and is convinced that Rosencratnz and Guildenstern were on Claudius’ side and wanted him dead as well. In an act of madness Hamlet destroys the letter and rewrites a new one demanding that Rosencratnz and Guildenstern be killed when they step foot in England-no questions asked. He then seals the letter with a seal his father left him. 

Important things to look it and question would be : why is has the seal on him at all times and the sudden burst of irrational revenge towards two of his best friends.

Oy vey iz mir, where to begin?  They get the first part right, about the letter to England.  Then it takes a left turn:

It’s important to note that Rosencratnz and Guildenstern are Hamlet’s good friends and would not have delivered the letter if they had known it was in fact Hamlet’s death sentence. 

Absolutely incorrect. R&G may have at one point been friends of Hamlet, but are now in the employ of the king. Hamlet knows this. He even at one point calls them, “my two schoolfellows, whom I will trust as I will adders fang’d.”

It is a valid question to ask how they would have felt about Hamlet’s upcoming execution if they knew the contents of the letter, but it is pure conjecture to state that they would not have delivered it. There’s nothing in R&G’s actions or words to suggest that they would go against Claudius’ orders.

Hamlet finds this letter and is convinced that Rosencratnz and Guildenstern were on Claudius’ side and wanted him dead as well.

Nope again. After opening the letter he never even mentions R&G. In fact it is Horatio who brings them up.

In an act of madness Hamlet destroys the letter and rewrites a new one demanding that Rosencratnz and Guildenstern be killed when they step foot in England-no questions asked.

Unless you consider the entire play one big fit of madness, I don’t know where they get this stuff. In secret he forged a royal document, maintaining the original mission for the voyage. Remember that when he’s doing this he doesn’t realize he’s going to have a chance to escape, he thinks he’s going to be standing right next to them when the king of England opens the letter.

Important things to look it and question would be : why is has the seal on him at all times and the sudden burst of irrational revenge towards two of his best friends.

That he has the royal seal is just a plot contrivance of Shakespeare’s, and not even a particularly unusual one. What’s more interesting as an “important thing to question” is the sudden burst of irrational revenge toward two of his best friends. I’m not sure how many words in that sentence I can find to disagree with. Best friends? Nope, we’ve covered that. Sudden burst? Again, not hardly. They were on a sea voyage. He had plenty of time to think about it. Irrational? Changing the purpose of the mission and then planning to go through with the mission, that’s irrational?  Irrational would be stabbing them in their sleep. Revenge? It’s not revenge, it’s self preservation. The entire purpose of this transaction is not Hamlet saying “Aha, at last I found a chance to kill Rosencrantz and Guildenstern!”  It’s anything but. When Horatio awkwardly asks, “So, you just sent them off to their deaths, then, right?” Hamlet’s only reaction is, “They are not near my conscience.”

It’s stuff like this that reminds me why I started Shakespeare Answers and Not By Shakespeare.

Why did Hamlet kill Polonius?

~ duane ~ 4 Comments

There’s a short and easy answer to the question of why Hamlet killed Polonius. It was an accident. A case of mistaken identify, if you will. What he did next, however, certainly was no accident.

The story so far: Hamlet has sprung his mouse trap, playing out Claudius’ crime in front of him with the help of the actors. Claudius reaction has, as Hamlet anticipated, “caught the conscience of the king.” Gertrude, upset with her son for angering her husband, has requested Hamlet come to her bedchamber so she might speak with him. Polonius offers to spy on Hamlet by reaching the queen first and hiding in the arras (curtains).

Hamlet, in exultation at having proven Claudius’ guilt, comes to his mother’s bedchamber and intends to tell her off:

Hamlet. Now, mother, what’s the matter?

Gertrude. Hamlet, thou hast thy father much offended.

Hamlet. Mother, you have my father much offended.

Gertrude. Come, come, you answer with an idle tongue.

Hamlet. Go, go, you question with a wicked tongue.

Gertrude. Why, how now, Hamlet?

Hamlet. What’s the matter now?

Gertrude. Have you forgot me?

Hamlet. No, by the rood, not so!
You are the Queen, your husband’s brother’s wife,
And (would it were not so!) you are my mother.

Hamlet’s mood at this point is pretty obvious. He’s been unhappy with his mother and is letting it all out. You have my father much offended. You question with a wicked tongue. You are your husband’s brother’s wife.

If Hamlet had stormed off at this moment, having made his point, the play would have gone differently. Instead, Gertrude stands up and says, “I don’t have to take this!” and Hamlet shoves his mother back down, because he’s not done with her yet:

Gertrude. Nay, then I’ll set those to you that can speak.

Hamlet. Come, come, and sit you down. You shall not budge;
You go not till I set you up a glass
Where you may see the inmost part of you.

Gertrude is not prepared for Hamlet to put his hands on her. Remember that the whole castle believes Hamlet to have lost his mind. So it’s hardly unexpected when she yells to Polonius for help:

Gertrude. What wilt thou do? Thou wilt not murther me?
Help, help, ho!

Polonius. [behind] What, ho! help, help, help!

Hamlet didn’t know someone else was in the room. He stabs blindly through the arras:

Hamlet. [draws] How now? a rat? Dead for a ducat, dead!

[Makes a pass through the arras and] kills Polonius.

Polonius. [behind] O, I am slain!

Gertrude. O me, what hast thou done?

Right now the audience is thinking the same thing that Gertrude is. What just happened? Hamlet’s a thinker and a talker, not a doer. Up to this point in the play he hasn’t really done anything.  Until now. Heard a noise? Kill it!

Hamlet. Nay, I know not. Is it the King?

Gertrude. O, what a rash and bloody deed is this!

Hamlet. A bloody deed- almost as bad, good mother,
As kill a king, and marry with his brother.

Gertrude. As kill a king?

Hamlet thought Claudius was hiding behind the arras! During this exchange, in fact, he still believes he has killed Claudius, which perhaps explains why he so blatantly accuses his mother of the crime, thinking that he has now avenged his father.

Hamlet discovers Polonius
Hamlet discovers Polonius. Image via Wikipedia commons

The timing here is subject to some debate. In the previous scene, on his way to his mother’s bedchamber, Hamlet had already passed Claudius at prayer. He has an opportunity there to kill him, but chooses not to take it. So, then, does Hamlet think that Claudius somehow beat him to the same destination? It’s possible that Hamlet took his time getting to his mother’s room eventually. Or that castles do tend to have secret passages and if there was a shortcut to Gertrude’s room, Claudius knew it. It’s also likely that in the heat of the moment Hamlet simply never thought of this.

So, Polonius’ death was an accident. What happens next is not. Hamlet hides Polonius body, refusing to let him have a proper burial. Act 4 scenes 2 and 3 are actually devoted entirely to the search for Polonius’ body:

Rosencrantz. What have you done, my lord, with the dead body?

Hamlet. Compounded it with dust, whereto ’tis kin.

Rosencrantz. Tell us where ’tis, that we may take it thence
And bear it to the chapel.

And then, when Rosencrantz and Guildenstern can get no answers out on him, Hamlet is taken before Claudius:

Claudius. Where is Polonius?

Hamlet. In heaven. Send thither to see. If your messenger find him not
there, seek him i’ th’ other place yourself. But indeed, if you
find him not within this month, you shall nose him as you go up
the stair, into the lobby.

So Hamlet uses the dead body of his girlfriend’s father as a prop so he can tell Claudius to go to hell. Is this part of his crazy act? Or at this point does he truly care so little about such things that he doesn’t think twice about defiling a corpse?

What does Juliet think about marriage?

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Juliet’s thoughts on marriage change during the play, so the answer to the question depends on whether we look in Act 1 Scene 3 or Act 2 Scene 2.

Juliet is first mentioned when Paris comes asking her father for Juliet’s hand in marriage. Her father tells Paris that her opinion counts, and that he will not force her to marry someone she does not love:

Capulet. But woo her, gentle Paris, get her heart,
My will to her consent is but a part;
An she agree, within her scope of choice
Lies my consent and fair according voice.

We next see Juliet with her mother, who is working her from a different angle:

Lady Capulet. Marry, that ‘marry’ is the very theme
I came to talk of. Tell me, daughter Juliet,
How stands your disposition to be married?

Juliet. It is an honour that I dream not of.

There is the short answer for anybody just looking to get the homework answer. What does Juliet think about marriage? It is an honour she dreams not of.

Romeo at Juliet's Balcony
Romeo at Juliet’s Balcony. Image via Wikimedia Commons

But wait! She hasn’t met Romeo yet. Act 2, Scene 2, otherwise known as the famous balcony scene:

Juliet. Three words, dear Romeo, and good night indeed.
If that thy bent of love be honourable,
Thy purpose marriage, send me word to-morrow,
By one that I’ll procure to come to thee,
Where and what time thou wilt perform the rite;
And all my fortunes at thy foot I’ll lay
And follow thee my lord throughout the world.

This is Shakespearean for, “If you like it then you’d better put a ring on it.” Juliet has gone from “I’m not really interested in getting married” to “Just tell me the time and the place and I’ll be there.”

 

 

I did it all for the Shakespeare cookie

~ duane ~ 1 Comment

I don’t think I ever blogged about this Shakespeare cookie cutter before Christmas, but I definitely put it on my Facebook page.  Well, my mom knew exactly what she getting me this year!

Here’s the cutter itself, both sides:

It makes a very detailed cut.

To give you an idea how big it is, I was getting about 5 cookies per baking sheet. The white stuff is actually powdered sugar that I’d used to coat the rolling pin (a trick I found on Alton Brown’s recipe).

Finished product! Stuck in a snowstorm like we are there’s no real frosting supplies in the house, but that didn’t stop the kids from devouring him as is. I had to rescue this one just to get a picture!
One of the most amusing parts of the experience (to me), was debating which portrait the cookie is based on. My wife swore that it looks just like “the one that everybody knows” (which would be the Droeshout, from the First Folio), but I contended that no, the mustache gives this one away as the Flowers portrait.  They had no idea what I was talking about so I had a great time bringing up different portrait images and watching them hold a cookie up to my phone and compare mustaches.

Speaking of Shakspeare movie projects…

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Also on my radar this week is a not-yet-funded project to film Love’s Labour’s Lost.  This one will be set at a boarding school:

Ferdinand, the Head Boy of Navarre Academy, leads three of his comrades in making a chastity vow in order to focus on their studies. However, with the arrival of four new girls at their school, including the Princess of Aquitane and her sultry friend Rosaline, the boys can’t help but quickly fall for each of their new classmates. Meanwhile, their eccentric Spanish teacher, Don Armado, falls for Jaquenetta, the sexy school nurse, but is caught in a love triangle with Costard, the janitor.

I like it so far because it sounds like they can actually keep fairly close to character and plot. It’s always a bit disappointing when a modern adaptation finds itself at odds with the script and has to just toss potentially crucial elements of the original out the window.

They do need some help – at the time of this writing they’re at less than $5000 of their $25,000 goal.
Check it out!