What Would You Ask Sir Ian and Sir Patrick?

~ duane ~ 1 Comment

Every time I see a photo or video with Sir Patrick Stewart and Sir Ian McKellen, I’m clicking.  I love those guys. There’s something about seeing two of today’s greatest actors just hanging out and being goofy one moment, and churning out some outstanding acting together (both on film and on stage) the next.  P.S. I’d like to think that one day we’ll be saying this about Zach Braff and Donald Faison.  It’s guy love, that’s all it is.

But here’s what drives me crazy. Despite Stewart and McKellen’s lengthy Shakespeare resumes, I hardly ever see them talking about it. When people get to ask questions, nobody asks a Shakespeare question.

So let’s pretend. Let’s say that I’ve got Sir Patrick and Sir Ian here on stage with me at the first annual Shakespeare Geek Convention, that I haven’t completely fainted yet (got a little woozy just typing that), and we’re taking questions from the audience. There’ll be no Star Trek, Lord of the Rings or X-Men references today, people!  Nothing but Shakespeare questions. You only get one, which can be to either one or to both equally.

Here’s mine:

“Sir Ian,” (Sir Ian, Sir Ian, Sir Ian…), “Christopher Plummer performed his Prospero a few years back and that said that’s it for him, there were no more great roles for men his age. Dame Helen Mirren recently said a similar thing about roles for older women.  How do you feel about that?  Sir John Gieldgud was still performing Shakespeare into his nineties. You’ve played Prospero, you’ve played Lear, is there going to come a day when you too will retire from Shakespeare because there are no more roles for you?”

I was going to ask Sir Patrick an entirely different question about Claudius’ shrug when he drinks the poison, but I looked at the two questions and decided I like this one better.  Plus I don’t expect he’d answer that one.

Shakespeare is Universal proves that Shakespeare makes life better by supporting cancer research. Please take a moment, visit the site, show the world your love for Shakespeare and support a great cause.  Don’t leave without telling your friends and family. Surely you know somebody that would love one of our limited edition shirts. Available this year in multiple styles including long sleeve, v-neck and women’s styles. Multiple colors available!

What Are You Waiting For?

~ duane ~ Leave a comment

This year’s Shakespeare is Universal fundraiser is off to a slow start, and I admit that I’m a bit stumped as to why.

Last year we made our goal, when I had no idea what I was doing. This year I took to heart the advice I got:

1) Focus on an image, not on text.  Done.  My friend Peter Phelan and I worked on a “cut him out in little stars” image of Shakespeare cast as a constellation, which we then decorated with many of Shakespeare’s famous “star” quotes.

Buy a t-shirt, support cancer research.

2) Donate to charity. Again, done. I’m not going to lie and try to claim that this isn’t a fundraiser – it is. I have costs to pay to keep my little empire running, and while there’s a variety of dinky little ads on the pages, this is my one shot during the year to bring in enough to foot the bill (or at least put a dent in it). But this year I really wanted to get behind the “Shakespeare makes life better” mission and do something real with the money.  So yeah, I bumped the price and the goal a bit so that we’re talking about a bigger chunk of money, because when we hit our goal I wanted to be able to send off a nice check. Whatever we get, should we meet our goal, a substantial portion of it is going to the American Cancer Society.

3) Advertise. Right now I’m paying up front to advertise my campaign. Usually I’m very averse to doing that, because if I drop a few hundred dollars on a campaign that fails to then bring in a few hundred dollars, well guess what? I’m out a few hundred dollars. That’s like the opposite of fundraising, that is fundspending. But, nothing ventured nothing gained, right? I have to have confidence in my ideas and my mission and it’s not going to be the end of the world if it doesn’t happen. I’m going to be sad about it, sure, but it’s not going to break me.

4) Not a fan of the black.  Check.  Lots of people told me that they don’t really do black t-shirts. I had no choice to get started because the star background in our image was black. But that’s been changed and colors are now available.

We were late on the design this year, I acknowledge that. I really wanted to get it out there for Shakespeare’s Birthday, and while it was technically there, the initial image was not ready for primetime. I’ve since gone over it with the professional designers at Teespring (great, great company by the way.  Exceedingly helpful!) to create something that I think is an excellent final product. It also comes in a variety of styles this year, so you can choose from traditional, women’s style, v-neck and long sleeve.  Each style has its own choice of colors as well.  My kids all have the red from last year, but I think I’m going to get blue for mine this year.

There’s about a week and a half left on the campaign, so maybe we’ll surge before the end, I don’t know. Everybody I speak with says that they like it and are in for one, but I don’t always see the numbers go up when they say that, so maybe everybody’s waiting for something. If so, I’d like to know what. Is the number of pre-orders too low and you’re waiting for it to get higher? That doesn’t make any sense, your order is what’s going to help it go higher for the next guy. If everybody thought that way we’d never get out of the single digits.

Maybe it’s the image, which would be unfortunate. We wanted to keep with the “universal” theme, and the “cut him out in little stars” thing made a perfect opportunity.  The question is, does that translate into a t-shirt design. I think it does. It’s subtle, but I like it that way. Makes the other person stop and pay attention to your shirt, instead of just giving it a passing glance.

Are you waiting until just before the deadline? Again, not really sure why. If we don’t make the goal then nobody’s getting charged, so it’s not like you have to wait and see if we’re going to make it. Failing to pre-order just makes it more likely that we won’t hit it, so it’s a bit self-fulfilling.

Even if it’s not for you, for whichever of those or other reasons, maybe you could at least visit the site and hit those Facebook/Twitter/Pinterest buttons so your friends see it?  This game is all about eyeballs, and just because it’s not for you doesn’t mean your friend wouldn’t love it.

Ok, rant over. I’m not going to whine and cry and imply that I’m going to shut the site down like I did last year.  Last year was something of an identity crisis, I completely admit. I was questioning whether there were enough people out there even listening to what I had to say. I know you’re out there. This year I wanted to turn that into doing some good.  Maybe it’ll still work, maybe it won’t, I don’t know yet.

Shakespeare makes life better.  Buy a t-shirt and support cancer research.

I Don’t Even Know What “Inspired By” Means Anymore

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I like when they say a movie is inspired by a true story. That’s kind of silly. “Hey, Mitch, did you hear that story about that lady who drove her car into the lake with her kids and they all drowned?” “Yeah, I did, and you know what – that inspires me to write a movie about a gorilla!” – Mitch Hedberg

I’m reminded of that joke whenever I see a list like this Top Ten Novels Inspired By Shakespeare. What will their criteria be, I wonder? Are we talking about modern retellings, or prequel stories, or alternate timelines or what?

Having read the list, I have no idea.

Four of them take their title directly from a Shakespeare play.  How much each novel then does with Shakespeare varies wildly – Aldous Huxley has his Shakespeare-quoting savage, for example, but does Somerset Maugham’s Cakes and Ale have anything to do with Twelfth Night other than the title and apparently a bit of hedonism?

One tells the story of the “real” Richard III and attempts to separate it from Shakespeare’s version.

One (Thousand Acres) is something of a “half retelling” of King Lear, which keeps almost identically to the premise (an old father, before retiring, divides up his land between his three daughters) but then takes a sharp left turn into whole new territory.

I think that for all of those we can at least say the author had some conscious connection to Shakespeare, even if it was just “I like that quote, I’m going to use it as the title of my book.”

But The Talented Mr. Ripley? Really? A story about a guy that wants something the other guy has, so he kills him and takes his place, then starts killing other people to keep the secret.  That makes it Macbeth? Do we have any reason to think that the author intended the comparison, or are we just guessing?

I don’t know what to do with Moby Dick. I don’t know enough about Melville. Did he deliberately write it to parallel a Shakespearean tragedy, as several essays I googled claim?

Shakespeare saves lives. Find out how.

RIP Bob Hoskins

~ duane ~ Leave a comment

I’d be willing to bet that when you show a picture of Bob Hoskins around, most people think Who Framed Roger Rabbit, Hook or maybe even Super Mario Brothers.  But he also knocked Iago out of the park back in 1981, before any of that kid stuff.

Bob Hoskins has died at the age of 71, from pneumonia.  Perhaps Mr. Hoskins and the recently departed Phillip Seymour Hoffman, who also had a shot at Iago, can compare notes with the Master himself.

Flights of angels, Mr. Hoskins.

This year,Shakespeare is Universal is looking to prove that Shakespeare makes life better by donating money to support cancer research. Last year’s shirt was a big success and we’re looking forward to shattering our previous goal, all in the name of charity. Please take a moment, visit the site and see if I can’t convince you to show the world your love for Shakespeare and support a great cause. Not for you? Fair enough – but that’s what those Share buttons are for! Don’t leave without telling your friends and family. Surely you know somebody that would love one of our limited edition shirts. Available this year in multiple styles including long sleeve, v-neck and women’s styles. Multiple colors available!

Tales of a Fourth Grade Shakespeare (Part 2)

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So with the monologues done I asked whether the kids wanted to get up and act with each other, and of course got a rousing response.

A student had asked what Shakespeare’s funniest play was, because it sounded like all he wrote was death and tragedy. So we talked for a bit about Midsummer, and I learned that maybe six kids in the class were part of the Midsummer that I did last year.

So I pulled out as our first scene the opening of Midsummer.  I asked for a volunteer for Hermia, and a boy’s hand shot up.  “Really?” I asked, “You want to play the girl?”  He assured me that he did, and I let him. I explained that this was excellent, because in Shakespeare’s time all the girl roles would have been played by boys anyway.

I got a Theseus, Lysander and Demetrius (we were doing an edited scene with no Helena or Egeus) and I broke it down for them, standing behind the line with my hand over respective heads.  “YOU are Lysander.  YOU are in love with HERMIA over here.” Laughter because it’s both boys.  “YOU are DEMETRIUS, and YOU also love HERMIA.”  More laughter. “Hermia’s father has decided that he wants her to marry Demetrius, but she loves Lysander.  So they’ve come to YOU, THESEUS, who’s the law around these parts.  You get to decide stuff like this, and if you think any heads need to come off, then *eek* off come some heads.”  While they are performing I notice the teacher leans over and whispers something to Hermia, who starts speaking in a squeaky high voice, which gets more laughter from the audience. I immediately grab for my Complete Works with the thought of showing them some of Bottom’s scenes.  But then I decide against it, that I simply do not have the time to change gears like that.  Another case of *I* know what it would sound like in *my* head, but that doesn’t mean it’ll translate to reality.

They enjoy this scene, but there’s not a lot of action to it. This is just the warm up.  I tell them,  “I think it’s time to get out the swords.” 🙂

I’d had no interaction with the teacher at all before coming up with this lesson plan, so I had no idea what she’d say about swords of any kind.  So I went to the local hardware store and picked up some lengths of this foam pipe insulation stuff, cut it in half, then wrapped some duct tape around one end as a handle.  Sure it was pretty floppy for a sword, but it gave them something to brandish and I knew that nobody was going to take it in the eye.

I bring out Gertrude’s bedchamber scene.  One death to start.  I ask who wants to be Queen, and get a volunteer. I ask for a Polonius, saying “You get to die.” Lot of volunteers. I ask for a Hamlet saying, “You get to kill Polonius.”  I actually offer Hamlet here as a prize, letting the teacher pick the student she feels has earned it.

I explain the scene in terms appropriate for this age group and attention span.  “Hamlet’s dad died.  Worse, his mom married his uncle.”  <beat, as that sinks in>  “Yeah, that’s all kinds of messed up. Hamlet’s the prince, and everybody knows, the king dies, the prince becomes king, right? Not so fast, Hamlet. Hamlet’s away at college, so he comes back to collect his crown and guess what? Mom’s already remarried. Worse, she’s remarried her husband’s brother.  Yes, ewww is appropriate here. So Hamlet and Claudius, that’s his name, Claudius, they do not get along at all. In fact, there was just a show at the castle and Hamlet completely ruined it, totally upset Claudius, he stormed out all mad.  So now Gertrude, the queen, your Hamlet’s mom, and your job is to smack some sense into your son. You’re still his mother, and you still expect him to listen to you.  Now you, Polonius, you know that Hamlet’s been acting a little crazy lately” (ASIDE TO AUDIENCE: “He has no idea!”) “and he’s come to the Queen’s room to protect her in case Hamlet does anything strange” (ASIDE TO AUDIENCE: “It’s not going to end well for him!”) “Meanwhile Hamlet, you just don’t really care about any of these people. You’re mad at your mom because she married that guy, and you’re mad at Polonius because he works for that guy, and you’re just in general having a bad day so you don’t really care about what your mom has to say to you.  Ready?  And….action!”

Best scene yet. The chosen Hamlet is the first kid to actually attempt to act.  It’s funny, I’ve written into the stage directions that Gertrude starts sitting, stands up to yell at Hamlet, and then he forces her back down. Hamlet gives her a shove on the shoulder and she flings herself to the ground, I love it. From the ground she yells “Will thou murder me?” Polonius yells “help, help!” and gets run through with a piece of foam pipe insulation.  Great stuff.

For fun we do that scene again with a different set of kids. I encourage them, now that they’ve seen it, to play it differently. Most importantly to play it big and bold.  When you’re angry, be angry like you want to kill somebody. And when you die, give it a minute.  Work the stage.  Most people in Shakespeare who died get a few lines before they go, so work with it.

Well my new Polonius takes that to heart, bursting forth from behind the arras and staggering out into the middle of the classroom before keeling over. This causes the student that he has landed on to start kicking him.  “Don’t kick dead Polonius,” I tell him. But this then gives me an opportunity to talk about exactly how Hamlet defiled Polonius’ body. They all agree that this is both gross and also not nice, and I can see that they start to get a clue about what Hamlet’s all about as I tell them, “Well, that’s kind of the whole point. Hamlet starts out as the good guy, but as the play goes on and the stuff that happens around him it gets darker and darker and he gets crazier and crazier and starts killing people.”

We end on the fight scene from Romeo and Juliet, which gives me a chance to put swords in the hands of four kids at once (Benvolio, Mercutio, Tybalt, Romeo).  Again I explain the context, how Romeo is only one who knows that he has joined the houses and doesn’t want to fight, and how Tybalt and Mercutio see that as him being a coward and so on.  The best part came when I got to choreograph (for lack of a better word) the fight itself.  “Mercutio, Tybalt, fight!  Have at it!” They start whacking at each other with foam swords.  “Benvolio!  Romeo!  Try to break it up!  Beat down their swords!” Enter more foam, whacking at foam.  “Now, Romeo, get right in Mercutio’s way!  Hold him back, get in the way of his sword!”  Romeo does so. “Tybalt!  You’re the bad guy, take your cheap shot! Mercutio’s arms are held, stick him with your sword!” Cute moment as they all pause and look at me as if to say, “But that’s dirty fighting, his sword’s not up.”  “That’s the whole point, you’re the bad guy, take your cheap shot!  Now, away in triumph!”  For Tybalt’s part he actually did strut away in triumph, gotta love that.

I switch out my cast (since we are running out of time and some kids have not been up yet) and let the scene continue. “Romeo, it’s your fault your best friend is dead. You tried to be the peacekeeper and it didn’t work. Here comes the guy that killed Mercutio, what are you gonna do about it?” My new Romeo ends Tybalt pretty quickly, and Benvolio urges him to flee.

That’s all the time I had, so I had to leave Julius Caesar and Henry V behind. Which I think was the right move, because I am well aware that I am still setting the bar very high at this age (and the kind of time frame we’re talking about). With no rehearsals, prep time or do-overs, it’s a lot to ask to give an nine year old Antony’s speech at Caesar’s funeral. He’ll be lucky to read through it. I would have loved to give a lesson in how the crowd gets manipulated, but I expect they only would have gotten it from what I said, not from the text.  Same with Henry V.  I get shivers down my spine every time I hear that speech, but I’m well aware that the kids almost certainly will not. At least, not yet.

My goal as always has been to introduce the material and to take the scary edge off.  These kids, at nine or ten years old, have now gotten more Romeo and Juliet, Hamlet, Midsummer, Taming of the Shrew and even a little Coriolanus. That’s more than most of their fellow students will have by the time they get to high school. If any of them develop an appreciation for the material that makes them want to go experience more?  Mission accomplished.

This year,Shakespeare is Universal is looking to prove that Shakespeare makes life better by donating money to support cancer research. Last year’s shirt was a big success and we’re looking forward to shattering our previous goal, all in the name of charity. Please take a moment, visit the site and see if I can’t convince you to show the world your love for Shakespeare and support a great cause. Not for you? Fair enough – but that’s what those Share buttons are for! Don’t leave without telling your friends and family. Surely you know somebody that would love one of our limited edition shirts. Available this year in multiple styles including long sleeve, v-neck and women’s styles. Multiple colors available!