Don’t trust the internet to do your homework, kids.

I found myself on Answers.com today, poking around the Shakespeare questions.  The answers make you want to punch somebody. Let’s look at the question, “How did Rosencrantz and Guildenstern die?”  Here’s the answer that 3 people marked as useful:


Claudius sends Rosencrantz and Guildenstern to go back to England with Hamlet. Before the three of them leave Claudius sends a letter to England telling them to kill Hamlet once he steps on to their soil. The letter is to be delivered by Rosencratnz and Guildenstern, the both of them do not know what the letter says and are merely following the king’s orders. It’s important to note that Rosencratnz and Guildenstern are Hamlet’s good friends and would not have delivered the letter if they had known it was in fact Hamlet’s death sentence. Hamlet finds this letter and is convinced that Rosencratnz and Guildenstern were on Claudius’ side and wanted him dead as well. In an act of madness Hamlet destroys the letter and rewrites a new one demanding that Rosencratnz and Guildenstern be killed when they step foot in England-no questions asked. He then seals the letter with a seal his father left him. 

Important things to look it and question would be : why is has the seal on him at all times and the sudden burst of irrational revenge towards two of his best friends.

Oy vey iz mir, where to begin?  They get the first part right, about the letter to England.  Then it takes a left turn:

It’s important to note that Rosencratnz and Guildenstern are Hamlet’s good friends and would not have delivered the letter if they had known it was in fact Hamlet’s death sentence. 

Absolutely incorrect. R&G may have at one point been friends of Hamlet, but are now in the employ of the king. Hamlet knows this. He even at one point calls them, “my two schoolfellows, whom I will trust as I will adders fang’d.”

It is a valid question to ask how they would have felt about Hamlet’s upcoming execution if they knew the contents of the letter, but it is pure conjecture to state that they would not have delivered it. There’s nothing in R&G’s actions or words to suggest that they would go against Claudius’ orders.

Hamlet finds this letter and is convinced that Rosencratnz and Guildenstern were on Claudius’ side and wanted him dead as well.

Nope again. After opening the letter he never even mentions R&G. In fact it is Horatio who brings them up.

In an act of madness Hamlet destroys the letter and rewrites a new one demanding that Rosencratnz and Guildenstern be killed when they step foot in England-no questions asked.

Unless you consider the entire play one big fit of madness, I don’t know where they get this stuff. In secret he forged a royal document, maintaining the original mission for the voyage. Remember that when he’s doing this he doesn’t realize he’s going to have a chance to escape, he thinks he’s going to be standing right next to them when the king of England opens the letter.

Important things to look it and question would be : why is has the seal on him at all times and the sudden burst of irrational revenge towards two of his best friends.

That he has the royal seal is just a plot contrivance of Shakespeare’s, and not even a particularly unusual one. What’s more interesting as an “important thing to question” is the sudden burst of irrational revenge toward two of his best friends. I’m not sure how many words in that sentence I can find to disagree with. Best friends? Nope, we’ve covered that. Sudden burst? Again, not hardly. They were on a sea voyage. He had plenty of time to think about it. Irrational? Changing the purpose of the mission and then planning to go through with the mission, that’s irrational?  Irrational would be stabbing them in their sleep. Revenge? It’s not revenge, it’s self preservation. The entire purpose of this transaction is not Hamlet saying “Aha, at last I found a chance to kill Rosencrantz and Guildenstern!”  It’s anything but. When Horatio awkwardly asks, “So, you just sent them off to their deaths, then, right?” Hamlet’s only reaction is, “They are not near my conscience.”

It’s stuff like this that reminds me why I started Shakespeare Answers and Not By Shakespeare.

I did it all for the Shakespeare cookie

I don’t think I ever blogged about this Shakespeare cookie cutter before Christmas, but I definitely put it on my Facebook page.  Well, my mom knew exactly what she getting me this year!

Here’s the cutter itself, both sides:

It makes a very detailed cut.

To give you an idea how big it is, I was getting about 5 cookies per baking sheet. The white stuff is actually powdered sugar that I’d used to coat the rolling pin (a trick I found on Alton Brown’s recipe).

Finished product! Stuck in a snowstorm like we are there’s no real frosting supplies in the house, but that didn’t stop the kids from devouring him as is. I had to rescue this one just to get a picture!
One of the most amusing parts of the experience (to me), was debating which portrait the cookie is based on. My wife swore that it looks just like “the one that everybody knows” (which would be the Droeshout, from the First Folio), but I contended that no, the mustache gives this one away as the Flowers portrait.  They had no idea what I was talking about so I had a great time bringing up different portrait images and watching them hold a cookie up to my phone and compare mustaches.

Speaking of Shakspeare movie projects…

Also on my radar this week is a not-yet-funded project to film Love’s Labour’s Lost.  This one will be set at a boarding school:

Ferdinand, the Head Boy of Navarre Academy, leads three of his comrades in making a chastity vow in order to focus on their studies. However, with the arrival of four new girls at their school, including the Princess of Aquitane and her sultry friend Rosaline, the boys can’t help but quickly fall for each of their new classmates. Meanwhile, their eccentric Spanish teacher, Don Armado, falls for Jaquenetta, the sexy school nurse, but is caught in a love triangle with Costard, the janitor.

I like it so far because it sounds like they can actually keep fairly close to character and plot. It’s always a bit disappointing when a modern adaptation finds itself at odds with the script and has to just toss potentially crucial elements of the original out the window.

They do need some help – at the time of this writing they’re at less than $5000 of their $25,000 goal.
Check it out!

The Merry Maids of Madness

Well now, this looks interesting.  I’m often sent Kickstarter links for projects that are just getting off the ground, and will take months to see the light of day (if ever). So it was a pleasure to find a new and unusual project that’s already funded and well on it’s way to being complete.

The Merry Maids of Madness is, “a feature length comedy set in a mental ward starring the women of Shakespeare.” Ok, so far I’m interested. Haven’t seen that before.

It’s got an IMDB page, although there’s not much on it other than a cast list (interesting that Kate only merits a minor cast mention). But! Many of these project start out life as stage shows and if you’re not lucky enough to be local to them, you’ll never get to see them. The fact that they’re now in post-production means there’s at least a shot that we’ll all be able to get a look at the video soon.

Intrigued, I clicked on some of the cast’s past work…

…don’t do that.  I’m going to pretend I didn’t see any of that, and that this project is going to be good.
Here, go read the Kickstarter page for Merry Maids. It looks like more effort went into that than went into Pizza Girl Massacre.

Break a leg, ladies!.

Foreshadowing in Twelfth Night

Twelfth Night opens with Duke Orsino’s now famous line, “If music be the food of love, play on…”

In Act 1 Scene 2, when Viola decides to dress as a boy to enter into Orsino’s service, she tells the Captain that she will be of value to the Duke because, “I can sing and speak to him in many sorts of music.”

Have I just always missed the glaring significance of that line? Am I the one in the audience that’s not immediately saying, “Oooooo!  I bet they end up together!!!!”