She Didn’t Call You Because…

Flying solo this time, I spotted the #shedidntcallbecause tag on Twitter and the rest, as they say, is history.

She Didn’t Call You Because…

  • …you stabbed her dad.  She’s out picking flowers to make herself feel better.
  •  …Friar Laurence buried her alive, and she’s got no cell reception in the tomb.
  • …yo, seriously, her dad is crazy. Thinks he’s a wizard. Said he’d chain you up and turn you into a slave if she talked to you again. 
  • …she’s washing the blood off her hands and dropped the phone in the sink.
  • …you wrongly accused her of getting pregnant by your best friend, and she had to go into hiding for 16 years.
  • …she said to tell you she was going to go play with her pet snake.
  • …you called her a whore and broke up with her. On your wedding day. Who does that?
  • …all you were offering was mac and cheese, and Titus invited her over for pie.
  • …you may have put the roofie in her drink, but she went home with some other ass.
  • …you’ve got a pillow over her face.

4 thoughts on “She Didn’t Call You Because…

  1. Hey, you've got some real talent there.
    I particularly like the Othello one.

  2. Sean O'Sullivan says:

    …the woman don't want no scrubs
    no more; drinking and whoring right
    under her nose, with her money!
    Sort it out, fatso.

  3. º She has no hands to pick up the phone. Oh, she has no tongue either.

    º She hates when you try to tame her.

    My contribution 😀
    Loved yours…

  4. 'you may have put the roofie in her drink, but she went home with some other ass.'

    Midsummer, right?

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